Developmentally, middle schoolers want someone to connect to, “but they are also trying to break away from their parents,” says Jennifer Ciok in a K-12 Dive article. She is the middle grades network manager of coaching and improvement for the To&Through Project at the University of Chicago. It is a very confusing time in life for adolescents, making it really important to have at least one trusted adult at school that they can go to, Ciok says.
Open communication and relationship building based on sincere intentions can help develop a sense of belonging for middle schoolers that leads to increased attendance, higher GPAs and long-term success rates, she says.
Simply talking to adolescent students is a crucial form of relationship-building for educators to focus on, says Ciok, the author of “In The Meaningful Middle School Classroom: How to Spark Engagement That Fosters Deep Learning.”
Looking at data can help identify students who are struggling, but a more effective approach is to share this data with students and have them participate in the conversation.
Teachers know the students who feel connected and the ones who don’t, but they never actually speak to them, and never ask why they feel connected or adrift, says Ciok. “You have all this data in front of you. Now, go back and ask students what it means.”
Focus groups are one way to do this. Educators can speak to a group of students who share similar experiences. On the other hand, if one student may be a cause for concern, a one-on-one conversation might be more effective.
Concepts such as connection and impact can carry different connotations to different students, making it important to question and listen to each student directly.
Asking questions such as “What was an assignment that was meaningful to you?” or “What does respect look like to you?” can lead to teachers learning what students need or would like to see. Then they can begin to incorporate student responses into their classrooms.
“You don’t have to figure it all out. Talk to your kids. They want to share,” Ciok says.
An important point: when discussing findings and data with students, don’t talk in an condescending tone.
Question, don’t accuse, based on data and interpersonal findings. Be honest. You’re trying to build a relationship and make a student feel more connected and have a sense of belonging in the classroom. Be transparent: you’re trying to do better and you need their help, she says.
It’s not only about fostering a better connection in an individual classroom but also assessing whether students are experiencing that connection elsewhere. Relationship mapping can help. This is an activity where students share which educators they feel connected to, and educators share which students they feel connected to.
By “mapping” these links, middle school teachers can discover which mutual connections to continue building, and misalignments can point to which relationships need to be worked on.
Don’t try to force a connection, Ciok says. You can’t be “everyone’s person.” Instead, try to connect with whoever a student’s trusted adult might be. That preexisting relationship with another educator can be an excellent resource for how you can best serve that student.
Administrators should work on creating connections with teachers to make sure they have someone they trust on campus.
“Teachers need to know someone cares, right? That is just as important for staff as it is for students,” Ciok says. “If teachers don’t feel that, students won’t feel that.”
K-12 Dive
